Sisi

It’s easy to say time fixes everything, but it’s not really that simple. Sure, it can help, but if you really cared about someone, trusted them, loved them, and they betray you, it hurts a lot for a long time. There was a guy I was friends with a long time ago. He lived in a different country, and I never met him, and so it might seem like it was an unimportant friendship on the surface. But he was important to me. We spent hours talking every day. We even considered buying plane tickets so we could go meet each other in person. I told him everything that happened in my life, everything, all the embarrassing stuff normal people right in a diary or hide away in the back of their mind. He told me his secrets too, and for a long time things went really well. We wrote back and forth constantly as well as IMing. I guess I was sort of in love with him. Maybe it sounds stupid, after all, I’d never met the guy, but it doesn’t really matter if it sounds stupid or not, because it was true. I thought we had a special friendship. You know, personalities come through keyboards too, and due to the amount of time I spent online during that part of my life I thought I was pretty good at picking them up, I still think that. He was straightedge and in to screamo music and goofy and charming, sweet and a bit awkward, and so nice to me. Then one day he got a girlfriend and he pretty much deleted me from his life. I cried a lot. A lot a lot. I thought I’d done something wrong. I couldn’t believe he could just forget about everything we’d shared. I mean, it wasn’t completely out of the blue, there was a while when I felt bad after every time we talked because I knew something was off. Still, I thought I was just overreacting. I know the girl broke up with him shortly after, we had kind of become friends. Or acquaintances. Sometimes I find old e-mails where he said something sweet or was reassuring or kind and I feel really sad still.

Steph: awe thats really sucks when a friend does that. but you have a lot of other friends who would never even think of doing that to you, so i think you should focus more on the ones that love you rather than the ones that dont care

Thank you so much <3 And I plan to take that advice!

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