How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
Tag Archives: media
who taught you
that the
value of a woman
is the ratio
of her waist
to her hips
and the circumference
of her buttocks
and the volume
of her lips?
Your math
is
dangerously wrong
her value
is
nothing less
than
infinite.
I think I saw another video that was a part of this campaign last term. Tres Bien.
“sluts, slut, slutty”
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of hearing this word. What a woman chooses to do is her choice. Why are people so bent on how other people spend their time? Are we really to the point of blaming one’s hair colour on their level of ability to make what is CONSIDERED the “right” choice? Apparently if one aspect of your life is revealing clothing and promiscuity than that is what DEFINES you. Yes, many women lead a questionable lifestyle, but it is only questionable when they are doing something mentally and emotionally unhealthy that contributes to an emotional/mental instability – an instability probably at the fault of someone else, like parents or exposure to abuse or sexual exploitation when they were younger. Why must we insist on singling them out?
I don’t remember ever judging someone about sleeping around, unless I knew it wasn’t something they really wanted and they were my friend. Did I judge a girl for just dating this guy from my high school for a week, JUST for sex? No, I laughed it off, because he wanted to sleep with a blonde and she simply enjoys sex. WHO THE HELL AM I TO JUDGE? They both got what they wanted and everyone heard about it, because they CHOSE to have friends who are blabbermouths. So what….I have heard worse things. I am not going to spend my afternoon analyzing it just so…
I CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF (?really?)…
because that’s all it really is about. And I hope the people that judge get the satisfaction they need. If not, start justifying your lifestyle for yourself, and find something better to do with your time…
I was just thinking I’d write something along these lines if I didn’t have finals. The way girls talk about one another and themselves is one of the most surprising things I’ve encountered at university. Mostly it just makes me a bit sad that so many perfectly lovely people are conditioned to think that if a girl sleeps with multiple people that decreases her worth. Even more surprising, that girls feel like they have to explain behaviour such as having more than one boyfriend over a period as long as a year, or having lots of friends that are guys, or being in some way romantically or sexual involved with a guy who isn’t there ‘boyfriend.’ None of these behaviours are even remotely ‘slutty’ and yet are often referred to as if they are. There is an overwhelming pressure on girls to only engage in monogamous long term relationships from a young age, which is just ridiculous. It’s okay to be unsure, to try out different relationships, to just have fun. I’m not denying that there are girls who are more comfortable in a devoted and exclusive relationship. There are boys who prefer that as well, and that’s fantastic and lovely and all the rest, but it doesn’t and shouldn’t dis-value other more casual relationships.
In the case that someone is acting in a way you think is unhealthy or is hurting them, the best way to show your concern would be to talk to them about it, in an open and honest way. Throwing accusations around simply isn’t helpful.
I guess the last thing I would like to add is something that’s been on my mind a lot as of late. There is not one way to live, or one set of perfect goals that you should go out seeking to achieve. There are literally billions of ways to live your life, and many of them are beautiful and meaningful and worthwhile. So why not focus on your priorities in stead of judging other people on theirs. After all, if you disagree or are upset or disappointed by what others choose to do why focus on that, when you could be spending time on things that do matter to you and empower you. If their actions are not hurting you, the only other reason I really see for getting involved is if you feel concern for them, in which case refer to the previous paragraph.
The Trouble With Twilight – The damaging effect media, movies and books can have on girls sense of worth and the value they put on romantic relationships. This is an interesting video because the idea that girls need boys affection and attention to feel worthwhile permeates everyday life through media, literature, the internet etc. and yet it is not being discussed with nearly the same vigour as other related issues such as celebrities being poor role models, women being objectified and idealized and sexism in media. I do, however, argue that while twilight is written to be very engaging for those who strongly desire this type of validation from boys, it is not necessarily well written. It is cleverly constructed so that it’s audience does not notice that it is poorly written because they are so absorbed in the story, and don’t care for much but it’s forward progress. Twilight’s construction and raise to fame is quite interesting, and I plan on exploring it more in further blog posts.
Also check out Liz’s follow up video How Books Get Into Our Brain.
This was actually pretty interesting.
Marylin Manson is incredibly well spoken.
In other news:
The tide goes in, the tide goes out
The sun goes up, the sun goes down
Never a miscommunication!
You can’t explain that!
There is strength in this.