i promised to be strong on sunday. i told myself that i was going to turn around and drive home immediately; that i was going to climb into my bed, read a few of my favourite words, and then drift off to sleep with them still on my tongue.
but i texted you and asked if i could come see you, though i knew you were going to say yes. i sped past street lights and dark roads to your house, praying that curfew would give me a little bit more time. when i parked, you walked to the passenger side like you always do, but i had already locked it because i didn’t want you to sit beside me. i wanted your arms around me again, i wanted your bones, your forehead against mine. opening my door, i stepped out into the wind and chilled air. “what’s wrong?” you asked, in the softest tone. i tried, but i couldn’t say anything, and so i walked up to you, wrapped my arms around your neck, and whispered “i miss you, i miss you, i miss you”. you held and pulled me closer as the wind bit our eyelids and made our knees shake. we were silent, and it was perfect. chest to chest, cheek to cheek, heart to heart, my entire body soaking in the warmth of yours. you breathed into my neck, the heat from your mouth sending goosebumps down my spine and asked me to come back to you: “it isn’t right that two people living in the same town should miss each other this much” you softly said. we held each other as the night grew darker and the sky grew colder, and that was enough.
when you left, i sat in my car with my head in my hands. i wanted your arms again, your dark blue eyes, and calloused fingertips. i cried and fought the cold, my body begging for your warmth, and then there you were, tapping on my window with a concerned look on your face. i unlocked the door and wiped the salt from my eyes. you reached over and gently set your hand on my right cheek. i closed my eyes as you brushed my hair away and gently slid the tips of your fingers along my jawline to my chin, and eventually to my lips. your eyes told me all that your mind was screaming and i ached for you. my breathing became uneasy, and my shoulders moving up and down gave it away. it was enough to tell you that i wanted you too.
and so you leaned in without a word and kissed me, and i didn’t stop you, the strain of our hearts crashing against our ribs leading us back to the familiar rhythm that has only ever made sense to you and i.
silverwords has lovely heart-wrenching writing