It’s amazing how everything in my life is being tied together right now. As much as I hate to admit it, the driving force behind all these new connections are the thousand and one scholarship and application forms I’ve been filling out (okay, maybe that was a bit of an exageration), especially the AIF for Waterloo Engineering. Having to write down all my goals and activities and intents and qualities and beliefs and dreams in so many contexts, combinations etc. really helps me understand my passions and my self. Strangely enough, I’m not using a lot of what I’ve learned in science class in these mini-essays. I’m writing about concepts from science fiction books and content from shows on quantum mechanics, critical thinking from psychology and the importance of wonder from philosophy. I feel like I’m summarizing everything that matters to me, everything I’m passionate and intrigued by, and then, because of all the editing, I end up with a very concentrated version of what I want out of life. Interestingly enough, most of what I’m writing about are pretty recent discoveries of mine. It makes me wonder what I’ll be learning about in a year or two. You can discover so much, so fast in this world, partly by accident, it’s astounding. I plan to make the most out of it.

Also, even though I haven’t had English class all year, and I haven’t had much time or inspiration for writing poetry or short stories, I feel like I’m getting enough time playing around with words for the time being.

I have the most exciting project idea for tomorrow. I already talked to the teacher about it today and I think he’s a bit excited as well. Right now I want to keep it top secret, but I’ll sure to update you on how it all goes.

Anyways, today we were working on questions by ourselves, 16 of them. Everything from explaining why you do or don’t believe in god to whats more real, your chair or your perceptions of your chair. All these half formed ideas that have been floating around in my head for years seem to surface in that class. Putting them in to context and proper words helps them grow. I think I was wired to think this way, to be able to think this way, and I’m so grateful.

I love philosophy. I love ideas. I love the unexplainable. I love logic. Surprisingly, I also am a bit in love with the combination of students in this class, from the religious to the pessimistic to the palm readers. I think we all really want to be there, or at least almost all of us, and in that way we complement each other nicely. We’re unique, in fact there’s extremes in every direction, but we’re still bound together somehow.

In philosophy last week we split in to groups of three to discus different meanings of life. My group talked about living life as if you were a work of art. Being aesthetically pleasing and molding yourself, through experience, in to something beautiful.

One group member said one problem with this idea is that in art you can fix your mistakes and in life you rarely can. I’m not so sure though. I think in both art and life you can always make things better somehow, but what you’ve already done will leave its mark. The past might be hidden under layers of paint or banished to a forgotten closet of memories, but it has still had a hand in shaping you, in your learning and experience, and in that way it is never really gone.

We also talked about an operational definition of beauty, because living life beautifully can be taken many ways. Does it mean physically beauty, perfecting your body, your form, physical skills? Or does it mean virtuous beauty, pure of heart and spirit, good intentions, a lack of sin? Or something else entirely? A combination? Something different for every individual? We decided we believed it was close to that last option. Beauty is found in many forms, and in many places. Beauty is something thats true for an individual person, something they feel passionate towards. Beauty is becoming the best person you can, not the best person someone else thinks you should be, but the version of you your heart guides you to. Beauty is living without regret, but courage and meaning.

I have an imaginary beautiful, weathered, old trunk which I tuck all the things that give me courage in to.

I’ve always admired quirky girls. It’s sort of a fascination. Maybe because I know I’ll never be the popular blond cheerleader type. Maybe because I think popularity and fitting in are both overrated. I like girls who do their own thing, who have close knit groups of friends who can talk about anything, who have interests and hobbies and dreams. I admire girls with freckles and red hair and outfits that are “out of style”. Girls who read foreign poetry just to hear the rhythms of it, or collect old trunks, or write letters to pen palls in other countries even though almost everyone uses e-mail instead nowadays. Girls who find meaning where others don’t see it, who are intrinsically motivated and intellegent and funny. Who have opinions. Girls who can take care of themselves. Interesting individuals. I want to be one of those girls. Maybe I am. Maybe I can be.

Whip it – because I’m an Ellen Page fan and I like girls who break societal rules

Adam – because it looks charming and nerdy

(500) Days of Summer – because I like stories where the guy is romantic and charming and  the girl is hard to catch (plus there’s something enchanting about Zooey Deschanel’s voice)

Post Grad – because I’ve been thinking about whether I want to go to graduate school and what kind of jobs I’ll be able to get after four years of university

Tonight I checked Fame of the list. Well the plot was a little thin, I really enjoyed it. The performances in it were beautiful, and the whole story was like snapshots of growth and discovery, setbacks and art. There is such talent in this world.

domesticnoise:

via: http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to assault her.

4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t assault her. You know what? Don’t even ogle her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not assault her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or assault her.

7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.

8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from assaulting women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when in public.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to assault a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.

10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.

Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be assaulting her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Honestly, when I first read this post I wasn’t sure what to think. I’d like to say I thought about it and it cleared up for me, and I formed my own opinions, but that isn’t really how it worked. Truthfully, I was driving home for a YAC meeting with Dana when she cleared it up for me. It’s not fair in our society that girls have to be so careful, it’s wrong for some men to do what they do, and that sucks. But for the good guys, there are things they can do to set us at ease. For example: One night a nearly deserted street and a women and a man are approaching each other (walking in opposite directions on the same side of the road). The girl may feel threatened or unease or vulnerable or all of those things, and because of that, she may cross the road. But wouldn’t it be more considerate if the guy crossed the road instead, in order to put her mind at ease. It’s one of those basic things, consideration for other people and how they might feel, and what we can do to make them feel better, just one I hadn’t thought of before. So whether or not I like this list or not isn’t really important, it’s opening up a new way of thinking, or just bringing something we hadn’t necessarily thought of to one another’s attention that matters.