This is something I wrote (and posted) last year, I’m reposting it because reading it I remember exactly how I felt and what I was trying to portray, and it feels like a found piece of a puzzles thats been turning over in my head lately.

I’m so emotionally stretched out right now, but it’s the purest feeling I’ve had in a long time. I think the most important thing I’m learning this year is what I love, what really matters to me. I’ve got all these plans you know, and I think I’m right about making them, but I’m ready to be pulled away from them if I need to be. I’m learning about tears and love, boundaries and longing, time and effort. Its hard just to understand yourself let alone the whole world. Some parts of me are healing, but the scars are there too, they shape who I am as much as anything, so I’m not sorry. Theres so much, always so much, sometimes its overwhelming, but I feel calm right now. Today, in psychology I felt touched and understood in the midst of arguments, annoyance, passion, sadness, all our clamouring egos. I nearly cried from the force of it, and left class feeling shy and new, but validated. We can be such awkward creatures, can’t we? It all made me sure of one thing, this project I’ve been thinking about, it’s the one, out of all the 100s of projects that flit through my mind, it’s the one. It turns out that I’m waking up, tuning in just as much as I’m growing up, and maybe those things are more important right now.