Tag Archives: romance

In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to just give him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!

— Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via ignify)

Part of what I failed to express last time a ‘friend zone’ discussion came up.

daily-disney:

” if you can dream it you can do it “ walt disney

Now here is my problem with Disney princesses, they instill this idea into young girls that the most worthwhile thing they can dream of is romantic love. Five out of the six gifs portraying girls focus on finding their “prince charming.” It’s my personal opinion that this should not be the focus of young children’s entertainment. And don’t get me wrong, I know that people of all sorts of ages watch these movies, but we shouldn’t forget that they’re targeted at kids. I’m also not saying that there should never be princes, or love stories, I just think it’s ridiculous that that is the primary focus of so many kids movies. I mean, when I was seven or eight, I don’t think about boys like that at all, I was much more interested in playing with cars in the dirt and catching caterpillars and reading about balloon trees and cloud breathing dragons and talking animals and magical quests. These things are sometimes in Disney movies too, but they’re almost always focused on boys. Boys are expected to be the heroes, and the brave and valiant knights, the kids who want to float away on baloons.

That is simply an unfair and inaccurate division of childhood. Girls want to be heroes too, girls are tired of waiting for princes.

It just makes me mad some time.

Nerd boys. I know that nerd boys don’t sparkle in the sunshine, but they’re sensitive, they’re caring, they’re sweet, they’ll do nice stuff for you. They’re a little bit needy, I’ll grant you that they’re a little bit needy.

John Green, explaining why girls should date nerd boys. (via mattisalive)