Tag Archives: slut

lacigreen:

**5 THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SLUT SHAME THIS HALLOWEEN**

1. Calling women sluts/whores/skanks is a form of sexism.
When it comes to costumes, clothing, and sexual behavior, women are judged by a very different rubric than men.  When a guy has a lot of sex, he’s a stud.  If a woman behaves the same way, she’s a “whore”, “dirty”, “used up”, and doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect.  While people may use terms like “manslut” or “manwhore”, the consequences for the “manwhore” are not nearly as extreme.  People don’t see him as unworthy of respect.  He won’t be degraded, bullied, or have lies and rumors spread about him.  His reputation won’t be destroyed.  Being a “manwhore” is dismissed as him *~just being a guy~*.  

Because slut shame is a result of sexist ideas about what a woman “should” be or is allowed to do/be in the first place, women slut-shaming each other is a form of internalized sexism.  This is where a woman believes sexist things about herself and other women.  It can be very disruptive and harmful to women’s relationships with each other.  

These are some of the ways slut shame is entrenched in sexism.

2. Slut shame limits women’s freedom.
Calling women names and degrading them when they *break the rules* about how a woman is SUPPOSED to dress or behave ensures that women don’t have the same freedom men do.  They are not allowed to dress or do what they like…unless they want to pay the price of being bullied or dehumanized for it.

3. Slut shame is one of the ways women compete with each other for male approval.  
Slut-shaming creates a divide between women.  There are the “slutty stupid ones” with “no self respect” and there are the “proper ladies” who deserve to be treated as human.  Instead of building women up and cultivating healthy friendships, slut shame turns women against each other so that the slut-shamer can prove she’s “not like that” and therefore worthy of respect.  It puts women into harmful categories based on nothing more than how someone dresses or is perceived by others.  

4. Slut shame is a form of bullying.
Girls who break outside the mold of what they are supposed to do/be sexually and are thusly labeled sluts are at a higher risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide.  There have been many suicides that started with bullying in the form of slut shame. RIP Felicia Garcia, Amanda Todd, Phoebe Prince, Hope Witsell, Stacey Rambold’s unnamed victim, and all the other young women who have tragically taken their own lives because of the heartlessness and sexism of their peers.

5. Slut shame leads to rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence.
Because people see “sluts” as unworthy of respect, she is therefore not entitled to say no.  In this mentality, “sluts” become a target of harassment, assault, and even rape.  After the violence, she is then blamed for it.  After all, she was just a dumb slut….she asked for it, right?

This Halloween (and always) be a good person.  Respect women, respect their choices, and check yourself when you find yourself thinking or saying someone is a slut.  It’s a deeply held attitude about women that we all learn from our sexist culture, and it is vital that we all take the time to unlearn it.  These attitudes are more vicious and dangerous than they might appear.

xx

Laci

PSA

No one is a slut. “Slut” is a made-up word to keep women from having as much fun as men. A person who enjoys sex is just a person and a person who is a virgin is also just a person and everyone should lay off each other’s sex lives. Retire the word “slut” please.

20 Things We Need To Stop Talking About In 2013  (via normalisgross)

“sluts, slut, slutty”

zerocontrolandtakemedown:

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of hearing this word. What a woman chooses to do is her choice. Why are people so bent on how other people spend their time? Are we really to the point of blaming one’s hair colour on their level of ability to make what is CONSIDERED the “right” choice? Apparently if one aspect of your life is revealing clothing and promiscuity than that is what DEFINES you. Yes, many women lead a questionable lifestyle, but it is only questionable when they are doing something mentally and emotionally unhealthy that contributes to an emotional/mental instability – an instability probably at the fault of someone else, like parents or exposure to abuse or sexual exploitation when they were younger. Why must we insist on singling them out? 

I don’t remember ever judging someone about sleeping around, unless I knew it wasn’t something they really wanted and they were my friend. Did I judge a girl for just dating this guy from my high school for a week, JUST for sex? No, I laughed it off, because he wanted to sleep with a blonde and she simply enjoys sex. WHO THE HELL AM I TO JUDGE? They both got what they wanted and everyone heard about it, because they CHOSE to have friends who are blabbermouths. So what….I have heard worse things. I am not going to spend my afternoon analyzing it just so…

I CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF (?really?)…

because that’s all it really is about. And I hope the people that judge get the satisfaction they need. If not, start justifying your lifestyle for yourself, and find something better to do with your time…

I was just thinking I’d write something along these lines if I didn’t have finals. The way girls talk about one another and themselves is one of the most surprising things I’ve encountered at university. Mostly it just makes me a bit sad that so many perfectly lovely people are conditioned to think that if a girl sleeps with multiple people that decreases her worth. Even more surprising, that girls feel like they have to explain behaviour such as having more than one boyfriend over a period as long as a year, or having lots of friends that are guys, or being in some way romantically or sexual involved with a guy who isn’t there ‘boyfriend.’ None of these behaviours are even remotely ‘slutty’ and yet are often referred to as if they are. There is an overwhelming pressure on girls to only engage in monogamous long term relationships from a young age, which is just ridiculous. It’s okay to be unsure, to try out different relationships, to just have fun. I’m not denying that there are girls who are more comfortable in a devoted and exclusive relationship. There are boys who prefer that as well, and that’s fantastic and lovely and all the rest, but it doesn’t and shouldn’t dis-value other more casual relationships.

In the case that someone is acting in a way you think is unhealthy or is hurting them, the best way to show your concern would be to talk to them about it, in an open and honest way. Throwing accusations around simply isn’t helpful.

I guess the last thing I would like to add is something that’s been on my mind a lot as of late. There is not one way to live, or one set of perfect goals that you should go out seeking to achieve. There are literally billions of ways to live your life, and many of them are beautiful and meaningful and worthwhile. So why not focus on your priorities in stead of judging other people on theirs. After all, if you disagree or are upset or disappointed by what others choose to do why focus on that, when you could be spending time on things that do matter to you and empower you. If their actions are not hurting you, the only other reason I really see for getting involved is if you feel concern for them, in which case refer to the previous paragraph.