Tag Archives: social

In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to just give him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!

— Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via ignify)

Part of what I failed to express last time a ‘friend zone’ discussion came up.

Every time I read an article about conservatives being “pro- life” I am reminded of my brother who died of ALS at the age of 47. He spent the last 6 years of his life in nursing homes where the care, supervision and meals were abysmal. One of his former roommates was smoking a cigarette, fell asleep and burned to death because his diaper caught fire. Another roommate went home for the weekend to visit his mother and committed suicide in the garage of her home so that he wouldn’t have to return to the nursing home. I have to say that in all the years my brother was there I never once saw a group of conservatives out in front of the building shouting slogans about the sanctity of life and how all lives – no matter what age – are meaningful. I never once saw a group of evangelicals visiting with patients, pushing wheelchairs, or feeding the elderly residents. There were no Rick Santorums advocating on behalf of my brother who several years before had been a pro golfer and was still the father of two adorable young boys. When conservatives and evangelicals understand that ALL life really is sacred, including that of the elderly, the permanently disabled, the terminally ill, and the women and children who accidentally get bombed in the course of a war, then maybe I’ll listen to their opinions on contraceptives and/or abortion. For now, however, this is really just a politically heated argument about women’s reproductive rights and who gets to control those rights.

The ‘Safe, Legal, Rare’ Illusion – NYTimes.com

YES. 

(via golden-notebook)

Might be a rerun on my blog, and if it is, it’s worth repeating.

(via timekiller-s)

Holy SHIT, this is a good point.  Why aren’t those pro-life people reading this?!

(via aeoligus)

Thinking about the future a lot lately

What do I want to do?

I’m quite happy in my program, Nanotechnology Engineering.

I like teaching people stuff.

I like being around people.

I like making discoveries.

I like making art, and writing, and crafts in general.

I like working with other people, and social justice, and contributing.

I want to make a difference.

I don’t want to be isolated.

I think superconductivity is super cool.

I like the ideas of integrating different fields.

I like innovation and entrepreneurship.

So many paths. So many choices.

The last little while I’ve been about as antisocial as I get. I mean, I still spent a lot of time around people, and was happy to do so, but I didn’t seek out connections as often or as with as many people as I’m in the habit of doing. I guess I was just feeling a little bit exhausted. There is so much going on, not only in my life, but in everyone around me’s lives too, so its hard to make time for each other. Social interactions beyond some of my closest friends felt like a lot of effort, even with people I’m close with and admire and respect a lot. I guess I was just thinking about that today, and how its okay to have times like that, and that it’s important to me to form friendships that can last through time a part. Actually, in the friend making department, that is sort of my specialty, keeping in touch with people. So sometimes I get hurt feelings when the favour isn’t returned, even though I understand how much time long distance correspondence can take. I mean, I have a couple letters I need to mail right now that have been sitting on my shelf since before valentines day. I would like everyone in my life, from the past and present, that the time we spent together meant something to me, and that I still care about them even as we move on to new cities and new circles of friends. I have met too many fantastic people to be able to nurture relationships with nearly all of them, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about them or about people in general. Anyways, I’m looking forward to Coffee Pub tonight, and spending some time with the people I, uh, actually live with, as well as watching the show  (and participating in it!)